I know a lot of people in my life are wondering why I am being so outspoken about epilepsy. It’s not normally in my nature to be vocal or put myself in the public eye. Most of my life I’ve spent trying to blend into the crowd and “fly under the radar” so to speak.
I’ve thought about this and decided to express exactly why it is I am speaking out, publicly, about epilepsy.
First, I feel God is calling me to do this. When I became a youth leader many years ago I didn’t do it on a whim, but rather because I felt a strong undeniable calling to youth ministry. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before in my life. When I began to feel the calling to speak out about epilepsy (before my diagnosis) it was the same strong undeniable calling. I reminded God I’m not a good speaker, I’m timid/shy, I had no idea how to even get started with this undertaking. Then He reminded me that He simply wanted me to accept His will for this season of my life and that by doing so He would open the doors, give me the voice, the opportunities and the words.
Second, after beginning to learn about epilepsy, how misunderstood it still is, how little public understands, the lack of funding /research, and how prevalent epilepsy is, it just seemed to be the right thing to do.
Third, I am also doing this for my daughter, Emily. I want to be an example to her that no matter how timid you are, no matter how tough the road ahead seems to appear, you can overcome and accomplish anything when you’re following God’s will. It’s much the same as when I participated on the worship team at church. I love to sing, but I am terrified of singing in front of other people. Not only did I have to sing in front of the congregation, I also had to sing with a microphone! I was a bit notorious for not turning my mic on in the beginning. Since then I’ve not only sung with the worship team, but I have also done several solos (which also scares the pants off me!). I didn’t do it to be in the spotlight, I did it to show Em that no matter how scarred mommy was of singing publicly, I overcame my fear.
So those are the main reasons I have been speaking up and speaking out about epilepsy.
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